Hana Yori Shinigami
by annyenil
Summary: 2401. 7 days. 7 fics. 7 characters. 7 genres. Day Four: First-ever chaotic slight cross-over! What do shinigami email one another? Read through the emails of Matsumoto, Nanao, Iba, Ukitake, Renji, Yumichika and Rukia!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Since I have run out of acceptable formats of literature, I shall proceed to do something even stranger. This series is getting weirder still. My first ever – cross-over!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Hana Yori Dango

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Tetsuzaemon Iba**

**To: Madarame Ikkaku; Ayasegawa Yumichika; Ukitake Jyuurshirou; Kuchiki Bykuya; Abarai Renji; Hisagi Shuhei**

**Subject: SMA CRISIS!! CALLING FOR HELP!!**

Dearest Comrades,

Have you noticed lately that the women of Shinigami Women's Association has suddenly stopped tailing, and stopped taking photos of you? Do you ever wonder why? Is it that we have suddenly lost our charm to some philistine softies that beg for those stupid, shallow women's adulation? Yes it is.

Recently, there has been some sort of idol group known as the "Flower 4" from the human world which had been imported into Sereitei by Matsumoto Rangiku fukutaichou of the Tenth Division. It spread like wildfire throughout all the shojo magazines in Sereitei and now that is the topic of perfervid discussion on every women's lips in Sereitei.

Face it now, old boys. Our fighter days are over. Now women aren't the damsels in distress looking for us, their knight in shining armor. Now, they want "flower boys". The only way to correct this decadent phenomenon is for the Shinigami Men's Association to stand up against this and win it over.

So, my dearest friends. (And Kuchiki taichou, you will be of most assistance to us.) Please do join me in forming our own F4. The Fantastic Four. (Do you not think it has a ring to it? I came up with it while waiting for Komamura taichou in the toilet this morning.)

Please reply ASAP.

Let's be MAN together! – Iba

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

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**From: Matsumoto Rangiku**

**To: Ise Nanao; Kusajishi Yachiru; Kotetsu Isane; Kotetsu Kiyone; Soifon; Kurotsuchi Nemu; Kyouraku Shunsui; Kuchiki Rukia**

**Subject: Flower 4!! MORE PICS ATTACHED EVERYBODY!**

Hello Everyone,

Here are some more F4 photos and videos that Inoue Orihime, my dear friend the ryoka girl had sent over. Please do enjoy yourselves.

Hope you girls are enjoying this first-hand information from me. Do feel free to share these with the ladies in your division, I am sure they would be very appreciative of you. It is also quite fine if you wish to use it to make them do work. Just don't suggest it to my taichou.

By the way, I am hosting a fan club forum at the Shinigami Central Library for everybody in the Gotei. Please do announce this to all the female shinigami in your respective divisions.

Oh, and have you all heard? The pathetic SMA is trying to imitate the F4 by coming up with their own? This could be come quite interesting don't you think? I wonder who would they choose to be our favourite Domyouji, Rui, Soujirou and Akira. I can't wait to watch them make a farce of themselves. See you all at the meeting the day after tomorrow then!

XOXO Rangiku Loves You!

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Ayasegawa Yumichika**

**To: Tetsuzaemon Iba**

**Subject: RE: SMA CRISIS!! CALLING FOR HELP!!**

Dear Iba-san,

As the most beautiful member of the Gotei Thirteen Squads, I feel that it is an obligation for me to response to your invitation. Indeed, I cannot believe there will be a day when the women of Sereitei would not be blinded and crown me with adulation of my beauty. As a contentious man of the Eleventh Squad, I hereby agree to assist you in any way I can to win over the women of Sereitei.

It is, after all, our job to protect everybody in Sereitei from _foreign contaminants._ I believe, Iba-san, that this is for the most righteous cause and we must fight the hardest for it. You have my word, man. Just tell me where you require my beauty to shine and bring light. Just say "let there be light", and there will be light.

XOXO, Yumi

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Abarai Renji**

**To: Tetsuzaemon Iba**

**Subject: RE: SMA CRISIS!! CALLING FOR HELP!!**

Yo, Iba-san,

Sure thing. No problem. But I don't really get what the whole F4 thing is about? Can we have some background information? Oh, by the way, I don't really care if the SWA take my photos, but could you please liase with Ise fukutaichou to give us some revenue from sales of the photos? I need a new pair of goggles. I am sure you would like to upgrade our Association goggles.

Man, just tell me what you need and when you need, and I'll be there. Leave out my Thursday nights though. I have sake outings with Hisagi-san and Rangiku-san. You wanna come? Hisagi-san told me he thinks that you've been stressing too much lately. I am sure you don't wanna end up like some screw-up. Like Ichinose Maki or something. Even thought Kusajishi fukutaichou did like him plenty. But whatever.

Good luck winning back the ladies. Count me in!

See ya around, Ren

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Ukitake Jyuushirou**

**To: Tetsuzaemon Iba**

**Subject: RE: SMA CRISIS!! CALLING FOR HELP!!**

Dearest Iba-san,

Of course I would very much like to be part of this, being an ardent supporter and participant in all SMA activities. I feel that it is part of my responsibility to assist in any event that might revive the moribund team morale, don't you agree so? However, I must first be contrite of not being able to contribute to much of the charm. I cannot promise that I would be of much use, since I seldom speak to women, or anybody, since I am often bedridden. But I would, of course, very much love to befriend everybody.

Please do let me know how I may help you, and I will do my best to fulfill my promised attendance with all the piety we owe to the SMA. Please do not worry and stress yourself over this F4 trend among the female shinigami. I am sure it is just a passing fad. Besides, did your mother not want you to marry only in another century? You shouldn't be in any hurry to catch any girl's eyes right?

I shall tease you no more. All the best in this initiative. I am behind you all the way. Just tell me what you need.

Yours sincerely, Ukitake Jyuushirou.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Ayasegawa Yumichika**

**To: Matsumoto Rangiku**

**Subject: A Message From Zaraki Taichou**

Rangiku-san!

This is a message from my taichou. He says to stop sending my fukutaichou strange pictures of exceedingly handsome (though hardly matching up to my beauty) men because he does not feel that it is right for someone her age to see such images.

Thank you!

XOXO Yumi

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	7. Chapter 7

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Ise Nanao**

**To: Matsumoto Rangiku**

**Subject: RE: Flower 4!! MORE PICS ATTACHED EVERYBODY!**

Dear Rangiku-san,

First, I must thank you on behalf of the rest of the Shinigami Women's Association for creating another perfect opportunity to oppress the undesirable and peripatetic Shinigami Men's Association. Perhaps this will soon allow them to realize that aside from money-making tools, they are truly of no value in the society, especially disgusting, _flirtatious, infidel _men like my taichou. Please do not mention to anyone of what I wrote above, even though it is completely understandable, I am sure you would agree.

Secondly, I would like you to find more of these pictures, but do not disseminate them to the public. Instead, let us venture into the world of the mercenary and try to sell these hot stuff while they are hot. That way, we would probably earn more money than selling photos of those uncooperative taichous. Besides, I do think these human look more fetching than some of our taichou. Please excuse me for being so blatant, I am not sure what is wrong with me today. My taichou has gone on a sake party with some loose women on the streets of Sereitei again.

Thirdly, please help me ask Kiyone or Rukia or even yourself if you are free to take notes on those SMA fools trying to be F4. We can do a feature story on them in the Sereitei Communications issue next month. I think that might boos magazine sales. I hope Hisagi-san is not involved though.

Thank you so much for being a wonderful, resourceful woman that the SWA would be proud of.

Yours, Nanao

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	8. Chapter 8

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Kuchiki Rukia**

**To: Ise Nanao**

**Subject: FWD: RE: Flower 4!! MORE PICS ATTACHED EVERYBODY!**

Dear Ise fukutaichou,

Upon your request, I have tracked down the recent activites of the Shingami Men Association activities by spying (a cardinal sin) on Ukitake taichou. I hope my action had been covet and undiscovered. The information I had been able to retrieve was that:

The SMA has decided to counter this F4 fad by creating a line of merchandise on their own featuring four members of the Association dressed and portrayed like the F4. This idol group will go down to Sereitei and hold autograph sessions and dueling sessions open to the public. They aim to "bring back the charm and dignity of male Shinigami".

The names of the four representatives from the SMA has been uncovered as well, and they are: Renji, Yumichika-san, Ukitake taichou, and Iba fukutaichou. It is, however, unknown, which of them will be taking up the role of which member of the F4.

By the way, Ichigo says that he will be mailing through Urahara-san a shipment of F4 goods for Matsumoto upon her request and perpetual bugging. They should arrive soon.

Yours, Rukia

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	9. Chapter 9

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Tetsuzaemon Iba**

**To: All of Sereitei**

**Subject: Announcement: Birth of the FANTASTIC 4 "F4"!!**

Dear all,

The Shinigami Men's Association presents to you the Sereitei's very own version of F4, your latest, most desirable and manly idol group to take the storm and rock the house in Sereitei!

The F4 consists of the hot-blooded, youthful and passionate Abarai Renji fukutaichou of the Sixth Division with his firm muscles and fierce tattoos as Nishikado Soujirou!

The friendly, clement and gentle Ukitake Jyuushirou of the Thirteenth Division with his long, beautiful white hair and always cheerful demeanor as Mimasaka Akira!

The closet introvert, pretty and adorable Ayasegaya Yumichika of the Eleventh Division with his multi-coloured, elaborate eyebrows and understanding smile as Hanazawa Rui!

Last but not least, the ferocious, macho and most manly Tetsuzaemon Iba of the Seventh Division with his strong, bold style and macho Hiroshima dialect as Domyouji Tsusaka!

Do come down for our autograph sessions and dueling session around Sereitei. The Sereitei F4 merchandise will be available in all Sereitei Tea Houses tomorrow!

F4 Tour Schedule

Monday, Area 64-135, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Tuesday, Area 145-198, 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Wednesday, Area 10-54, 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Thursday, Area 230-312 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Friday, Area 459-546 11. a.m. – 4 p.m.

Saturday, Central 46 Square, 11 a.m. – 5 p.m.

Sunday, below the Tower of Penitance, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. (FINAL SHOW!)

Please do come by and support your idol!

Love, The F4

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	10. Chapter 10

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Ise Nanao**

**To: Matsumoto Rangiku; Kotetsu Isane; Kotetsu Kiyone; Kurotsuchi Nemu; Soifon; Kuchiki Rukia; Kusajishi Yachiru**

**Subject: URGENT!! SWA MEMBERS ATTN!**

Dear all,

I do not know what the women in Sereitei are thinking. At any rate, Rukia-san, please return the shipment to Kurosaki Ichigo. Matsumoto, please return all the pictures and videos that are not digital to Inoue Orihime.

Everybody else, it's time to go back to take photos of the stinky shinigami men.

Yours, Nanao

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	11. Chapter 11

**Hana Yori Shinigami**

By annyenil

* * *

**From: Tetsuzaemon Iba**

**To: Madarame Ikkaku; Ayasegawa Yumichika; Ukitake Jyuushirou; Kuchiki Byakuya; Abarai Renji; Hisagi Shuhei**

**Subject: Celebration PARTY for the SMA at Sake House No. 4 TONIGHT!!**

Yo, everyone. Looks like we won!

Read the Subject. See ya tonight.

--Iba

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End file.
